Now that the festivities of Christmas day are over, and maybe you are facing into the leftover turkey for dinner yet again, here is a humorous festive twist on the traditional Twelve Days that we can all relate to, to get us into the New Year laughing, from Fr Brian D’Arcy’s Gold Collection.
On the first day of Christmas
My true love said to me:
‘I’m glad we bought fresh turkey
And a proper Christmas tree.’
On the second day of Christmas
Much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey,
A most delicious bird.
On the third day we entertained
The people from next door.
The turkey tasted just as good
As it had the day before.
Day four, relations came to stay;
Poor Gran is looking old.
We finished up the festive pud
And ate the turkey cold.
On the fifth day of Christmas
Outside the snow flakes flurried.
But we were nice and warm inside
For we had our turkey curried.
On the sixth day I must admit
The Christmas spirit died.
The children fought and bickered;
We ate turkey rissoles fried.
On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love he did wince
When he sat at the table
And was offered turkey mince.
Day eight, the nerves were getting frayed
The dog had run for shelter
I served up turkey pancakes
With a glass of Alka Seltzer.
On the ninth day our cat left home
By lunchtime Dad was blotto.
He said he had to have a drink
To face turkey risotto.
By the tenth day the booze had gone
Except for our home-made brew.
And if that wasn’t bad enough
We suffered turkey stew.
On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Christmas tree was moulting.
The mince pies were as hard as rock
And the turkey was revolting.
On the twelfth day my true love
Had a smile upon her lips:
The guests had gone, the turkey too,
And we dined on fish and chips.
If you want to read more humour, wisdom or prayers from Fr Brian D’Arcy, his Gold Collection is available on our website if you click here.