Twelve Days of Christmas Turkey

Twelve Days of Christmas Turkey

Now that the festivities of Christmas day are over, and maybe you are facing into the leftover turkey for dinner yet again, here is a humorous festive twist on the traditional Twelve Days that we can all relate to, to get us into the New Year laughing, from Fr Brian D’Arcy’s Gold Collection.

On the first day of Christmas

My true love said to me:

‘I’m glad we bought fresh turkey

And a proper Christmas tree.’

On the second day of Christmas

Much laughter could be heard

Roast Turkey on a Cutting Board

As we tucked into our turkey,

A most delicious bird.

On the third day we entertained

The people from next door.

The turkey tasted just as good

As it had the day before.

Day four, relations came to stay;

Poor Gran is looking old.

We finished up the festive pudChristmas dinner table settings

And ate the turkey cold.

On the fifth day of Christmas

Outside the snow flakes flurried.

But we were nice and warm inside

For we had our turkey curried.

On the sixth day I must admit

The Christmas spirit died.

The children fought and bickered;

We ate turkey rissoles fried.

On the seventh day of Christmas

My true love he did wince

When he sat at the table

And was offered turkey mince.

Day eight, the nerves were getting frayedBrian D'Arcy Gold Collection cover

The dog had run for shelter

I served up turkey pancakes

With a glass of Alka Seltzer.

On the ninth day our cat left home

By lunchtime Dad was blotto.

He said he had to have a drink

To face turkey risotto.

By the tenth day the booze had gone

Except for our home-made brew.

And if that wasn’t bad enough

We suffered turkey stew.

On the eleventh day of Christmas

The Christmas tree was moulting.

The mince pies were as hard as rock

And the turkey was revolting.

On the twelfth day my true love

Had a smile upon her lips:

The guests had gone, the turkey too,

And we dined on fish and chips.


If you want to read more humour, wisdom or prayers from Fr Brian D’Arcy, his Gold Collection is available on our website if you click here.